Hot Rod Lincoln

'Cause my pappy said, 'Son, you're gonna drive me to drinkin' If you don't quit drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln!' Have you heard the story of the hot rod race When the Fords and the Lincolns were settin' the pace? That story's true, I'm here to say 'Cause I was drivin' that Model A It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up And that Model A body makes it look like a pup It's got 12 cylinders and it uses 'em all Got overdrive that just won't stall With 4-barrel carbs and a dual exhaust And 4:11 gears, you can really get lost It got safety too but honey, I ain't scared Brakes are good and the tires fair We pulled out of San Pedro late one night When the moon and the stars were shinin' bright We was drivin' up Grapevine Hill Passin' cars like they were standin' still All of a sudden, in the wink of an eye A Cadillac Sedan passed us by I said "Boys, that's a mark for me" By then, the tail lighting was all you could see Now, the boys all ribbed me for bein' behind So I thought I'd make that Lincoln unwind Took my foot off the gas and, man alive I shoved it down in overdrive Well, I wound it up to 110 My speedometer said that we'd hit top end My foot was glued like lead to the floor It's all there is - there ain't no more Now the boys all thought that I'd lost my sense And them telephone poles looked like a picket fence They said, "Ray, slow down, I see spots" The lines on the road just looked like dots We took a corner, side-swiped a truck And I crossed my fingers just for luck My fenders clickin' the guardrail post And the guy beside me was white as a ghost Smoke was comin' from outta the back When I started to gain on that Cadillac Well, I knew I could catch him and I thought I could pass But don't ya know? By then, we'd be low on gas I had flames comin' from out of the side You could feel the tension, man, what a ride I said, "Look out, boys, I've got a license to fly" And that Caddy pulled over and let us by (Pull over, buddy) Well, all of a sudden she started a-knockin' Down in the depths she started rockin' I looked in the mirror, red light was a-blinkin' The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln (Alright, pull it over, you're under arrest, this is a highway patrol, get out of the car with your hands up) (Put your hands on the car, we need your driver's license, registration, proof of insurance, I-99 form, three years' tax return, I-99 passport, everything you've got in your pocket, keep your hands on the car, do not move away from the car) (Busted in quite your town again) (That Route 3 on high is a mess) (Make matters worse, the officer half my age and half my size, and he said "So?") (And he continued) ("Son, you have the right to remain silent, the right to be represented by an attorney, anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. Travelin' the way you're traveling, you're violating Section C-717, subsection 17575 of the Highway Patrol. We have a video, and could you just tell me, why are you driving a heap like this, son?") ("Uh, could you repeat that please?") (He did, word for word, and right then and there, friends, right then and there I made my second mistake of the night) (I turned out the bell and I said, "Listen occifer...") (And I know I was in deep trouble) (And friends, it was right then and there, right then and there that I came up with an idea that was gonna give me out of this mess) (I turned to the fella, I would snap a salute, I said "Sir, I could not help it, while operating this here vehicle, I was asleep at the wheel") (That's right, I showed him my CD with my picture on it, with my new DVD, said "Asleep at the wheel - Ray Dancin'", I gave it to him, figured that's quite the whole deal) (Well, Wilbur...) Well, he arrested me and he put me in jail Then he called my pappy to throw my bail He said, 'Son, you're gonna drive me to drinkin' If you don't quit drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln!'