Much More Married

When a woman like me Of un certain âge Meets a man that she likes On the prom or the plage She knows that he's bound to come Bearing baggage The emotional kind So what, I don't mind For a woman like me who is Racy and fast Must admit to a rippingly colourful past And just look around you The choice isn't vast I'd probably make due Well, almost, with you Except I'm in love with a man who I'm dating We're mad for each other, it's simply elating And the best of it all is he's separating So he cannot move in right away But he loves me So what can I say? Is he fantastic? He's topping Generous with plastic out shopping Handsome, though greying, and so distingué He loves to buy me lingerie, phones twice a day Lovely weekends in secluded hotels He's even hinted at wedding bells But we'll have to wait Ere the banns can be read 'cause he's a teensy bit more married than he said Is he a charmer, he's nifty Quite the disarmer for fifty He says he can't leave the twins, who are eight I've told him I'm prepared to wait He thinks that's great Often we manage to meet at weekends That's if she hasn't invited their friends Seems the poor darling is too thinly spread But then he's quite a bit more married than he said Is he my mate, oh of course sir He just can't wait to divorce her When he is with her he only pretends He's always having to make amends for lost weekends God how he suffers, he feels such a louse I can't see why he should give up the house Doesn't she realise their marriage is dead? Or is he quite a lot more married than he said? Is he a cad? Oh please, God, no But he's a maddening sod, though Weekends I spend pouring over my chart He calls to say I must not lose heart, they sleep apart But I can't say that it gives me a boost Knowing right now she is being induced Next time I see him, I'll kick in his head 'cause he's a bloody sight more married than he said If only he wasn't so brilliant in bed Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! But he's definitely more Infinitely more Miles more married than he said Oh!