If I Told You Who It Was

I was down in music city 'bout a week ago I wanted to see the Grand Ole Opry show, So I hailed a cab and I headed down to Opryland They said they sold their last ticket the day before, So I kinda just hung around the backstage door And down the steps she came, man oh man My favorite female country star, She waved to her fans and headed for her car Her tire, unlike her body, was very flat She said, could you change my tire I said your wish is my desire As she raised the lid, I grabbed her bumper jack She said I sure do appreciate ya changing my tire If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was You'd say I was making it up You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines You'd think I was making it up She said it was our little secret and by golly, I'm gonna keep it Anyway you wouldn't believe it if I told you who it was She said you need a lift and I said well, You can drop me of at the York motel, So we headed down Briley Parkway into town I told her I got all your records ma'am, She smiled and said well I be damned Say, you're kind of cute fella, wanna mess around? When we got to my room just to be polite I said sure wish I could've heard you sing tonight She smiled at me and said whatcha wanna hear? Now if I was one of them country music folks I tell you, She'd sure get my vote for the best performance of the year If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was You'd say I was making it up You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines You'd think I was making it up She said it was our little secret and by golly, I'm gonna keep it Anyway you wouldn't believe it if I told you who it was Well I tell you this much, When I put my arms around her and squeezed her real tight She looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes, Took a deep breath, and then sighed, and said Howdy I'm just so proud to be here If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was You'd say I was making it up You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines You'd think I was making it up She said it was our little secret and by golly, I'm gonna keep it Anyway you wouldn't believe it if I told you who it was