Fifty-Two

I'm confused I'm lost My mind keeps trying to fight this Was it worth it? Did you find the life you wanted? Mother, I've had better days but since you've been away I can't help but stagger As I make my way through this perpetual nightmare And I'll say that I don't care I got these bags under my eyes that seem to tell me otherwise I'll count my breathing Until my lungs align with yours My arms are bleeding As I scream forevermore Breathe in Did you take it all in for the last time? Breathe out Did I even cross your mind? I'll count my breathing Until my lungs align with yours My arms are bleeding As I scream forevermore All this confusion Is omnipresent Keeping me low when you found high to feel alive I swear I see my shame in everything Because you promised me A life I couldn't lead And here I am Holding this gun in hand Making your same mistakes I didn't understand Mother Did you find the life you wanted Was it worth it? I lost a part of me You pushed me deeper in the dark with every needle that set you free My mind keeps trying to fight this We've all got demons I guess mine wear the face of your memory I swear I see my shame in everything Because you promised me A life I couldn't lead And here I am Holding this gun in hand Making your same mistakes I didn't understand I swear I see my shame in everything Because you promised me A life you couldn't lead And here I am Holding this gun in hand Making your same mistakes I didn't understand I'll count my breathing Until my lungs align with yours My arms are bleeding As I scream forevermore