The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem

Yay! Bedtime story! (Yay!) Read the book, damnit! Alright, calm down, calm down This is an ancient tale from many snapshots ago Long before version 1.19 In the middle of the village was a household A little different to the others, they weren't as cold So let's go down below to meet the only townsfolk made out of snow He was a clown, you know Loved pranking, bro Suddenly pouncing, making people round say, "Oh!" His name was Bob And his daily job was guarding the town nightly a eight o'clock But Bob got so bored that he'd lobbed snowballs at the locals And although all snow that was thrown here was frozen Nobody really thought it was so cool Wasn't the most socially appropriate mode of approaching the folk Who would go to the law court to report that he broke rules Had a vote, and of course, they'd enforce he be stonewalled He was caged and afraid, he would wave and say, "hey" to the kids Parents shaking their heads and they would make them look away Just as if he didn't exist And so Bob made the decision to begin making amends Said sorry mama, never meant to hit you Never meant to make you cry So could I be freed now I promise that I will throw no snow I'll go home, keep it on the low, low So, this town isn't a no-go-zone no mo' Just a cup of cocoa And a ho-ho-ho No po-po, yo Just a nice, time (ah) Though, uh-oh, yo, it's the night time (ah) And once the sunset's done The undead come, so be afraid They're such a hungry bunch They want to munch and eat your brains Nowhere to run and hide No, they'll just come inside Wherever you put your bum, they're going to come and find you But Bob noticed the bloody loud commotion Would have dove in, but wasn't allowed The townsfolk just forbode him It was foreboding to know That he couldn't go, no chucking snow So he felt frozen The zombies closed in, it was as though They were hunting for something, enclosures were opened Pumpkins were jumped, there was no clear motive but phobia Punching a pumpkin is odious Bob took umbrage at his bros being broken And broke those oaths that he won't throw snow He was ready to bury any undead in the area with a Bo bo bo bo bo! Go home zombies, ain't it obvious? We don't want 'em We got them good, got them gone and with no problem So the folk bestowed honours and wrote heroic songs In honour of Bob the snow golem And although they were so fond of him, doted on him They couldn't condone lobbing snow with no punishment He was thrown back inside like Bo Burnham Was trapped in an iron and stone column No comment How could you live knowing you've done it? Have you no honour? Got me stuck here 'til the midsummer? That's some folk horror Folks want to go on about having free will 'Til you put them in a crowd more than three, then they're evil That's when Bob said, "Well then I'll be damned If I let the crowd mentality get me down" I'm planning to throw down You turned me barbaric like a snowcone Conan Now feel the wrath of the snowman Brap brap brap! Run home and close the doors I'm chucking frozen balls at you with no remorse You could have brokered peace But now you've chose war I'll suffer no defeat, 'til very person falls So every player be warned this is the perfect storm And 'til the weather's turning warm I'll lob those snowballs at the locals 'til there are no more What happened to him, where is he now? Oh, he is still out there, waiting Waiting? Woah, what do, what do you mean by waiting? Waiting Anyway, goodnight! Waiting? No, no, no, come back, come back! No!