Online

I work down at the pizza pit And I drive an old Hyundai I still live with my mom and dad I'm five foot three and overweight I'm a sci-fi fanatic, a mild asthmatic Never been to second base But there's a whole 'nother me that you need to see Go check out MySpace 'Cause online, I'm out in Hollywood I'm six foot five and I look damn good I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate And I love a good glass of wine It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious 'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online So much cooler online I get home, I kiss my mom And she fixes me a snack And I head down to my basement bedroom And fire up my Mac In real life, the only time I've Ever even been to LA Was when I got the chance with the marching band To play tuba in the Rose Parade But, oh, online, I live in Malibu I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ I'm single and I'm rich And I got a set of six-pack abs that will blow your mind It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious 'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online Yeah, I'm cooler online When you got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date Let alone a real girlfriend But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight Every time I log in Oh, online, I'm out in Hollywood I'm six foot five and I look damn good Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time I'm so much cooler online Yeah, I'm cooler online Hey, I'm so much cooler online Yeah, I'm cooler online (Yeah, he's cooler online) Hey, I'm cooler online (oh, oh) (Yeah, he's cooler online) Yeah, I'm sittin' alright Hey, I'm cooler online (Yeah, he's cooler online, hey)