Blood in the Water

Callahan: Now when you choose a law career, The moment you embark, There is that joke you're bound hear, A lawyer is a shark. Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb. Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some. The rest are chum. Our topic is blood in the water. Kids, it's time you faced, Law school is a waste, Oh yes, unless you acquire a taste for Blood in the water. Dark and red and raw! You're nothing until the thrill of the kill Becomes your only law! Mr. ... Shultz, hypothetical question. Would you be willing to defend the following banker accused of fraud: A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it Off to your client, all she saved since she was born. Well, he promised to invest it, but he spent it, On prostitutes and heroin and porn. Aaron: No, I would not want to take that case. Callahan: Wrong! This one is a win unless you're lazy! Grandma's broke; she'll have some hack from legal aid! Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy, Your guy goes free and he can get you high and laid. Look for the blood in the water! Read your Thomas Hobbs. Only spineless snobs Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs. Yes, blood in the water! Your scruples are a flaw! Ms. ... Hupes, hypothetical question. Would you be the right lawyer for the following client: Say they offer you a bundle for defending, A famous hit man for the mafia elite. Seems he missed his chosen prey, Killed a nun and drove away. Running over three cute puppies in the street. Enid: What, you think I wouldn't defend him just because he's a typical man? Callahan: Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough. Enid: But - Callahan: Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended. Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak. Your employment will be very quickly ended, When they see how your emotions make you weak. So what's my point? I run a billion dollar law firm! And I hire four new interns every year. From this class I will select four young sharks whom I respect. And those four will have a guaranteed career. Do you follow me? So I wanna see ... What? Class: Blood in the water. Callahan: Exactly, let the games begin Class: Hm-mm-mm-mm. Callahan: Four of you will win, Class: Hm-mm-mm-mm-ooh-ooh-ooh. Callahan: But just those four with the dorsal fin! Yes! All: Blood in the water. Callahan: So, fight and scratch and claw! Yes, Miss, uh...? Elle: Woods, Elle Woods. Callahan: Someone's had their morning coffee. Would you summarize the case of State of Indiana v. Hurn in your reading? Elle: Oh. I wanted to answer the puppy question. Callahan: But I'm asking you about the assigned reading. Elle: Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class? Callahan: You have guts, Ms. Woods. Ms. ... Kenzington. Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School. A position that you're justly proud about, But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all, Should you let it go or - Vivian: No. I'd throw her out. Callahan: All right, then. You heard your classmate. You have just been killed. She cut your throat, so grab your coat. Yes, you've got guts, But now they're spilled! Your blood's in the water! So, would you please withdraw! And if you return, Be ready to learn. Or is it unfair? Oh, wait I don't care! That's just how I rule, In life and in school, With fear and shock and gall! You're nothing until, Class: Blood in the water! Callahan: The thrill of the kill, Class: Blood in the water! Callahan: Becomes your only law! Class: Blood in the water! Callahan: Your only law! Class: Blood in the water! Callahan: Your only law! Class: Blood in the water! BLOOD IN THE WATER!