It's a Trap!

When the women you see never seem to be The kind of woman that you'd like to bone You're searching for that perfect one And you're gonna take her home And down in a dodgy bar one night You turn and raise your head There she is, the special one And you're gonna take her to bed 5 beers and 4 shots later The alcohol's making its move You say to her come on girl It's time to get a room But when you get back to your house You sense that something's not quite right She has a strange lump in her dress Between the legs the fabric's tight It's getting bigger by the minute D'you really want to know what's in it She slips out of her dress and then you see It's a trap There's too much makeup and she's wearing a wig It's a trap She stuffed her bra with socks to make them look big It's a trap She's got a penis and it's not even feminine It's pointing right at me and looking quite threatening How the hell did I get into this mishap It's a trap I'm thinking to myself Well I got this far It wouldn't make sense to back out Now, would it So I decide to soldier on And help to remove 'her' thong But it's looking me straight in the eye Soaked with the silvery tears it did cry It's getting bigger by the second Looking thicker than I'd reckoned Really not sure that I'll fit it in It's a trap There's too much makeup and she's wearing a wig It's a trap She stuffed her bra with socks to make them look big It's a trap She's got a penis and it's not even feminine, It's pointing right at me and looking quite threatening How the hell did I get into this mishap It's a trap It's a trap She's got me on all fours and expertly pinned It's a trap She spat on my behind to ease herself in It's a trap I think I like it but I don't want to tell her Right now I don't care that it's really a feller How the hell did I get into this mishap It's a trap Now I kinda got a catch 22 I just got pounded by a dude He looked so sexy as a chick I sorta forgot about his dick I know you'll say it makes me gay But this is what I've got to say Traps are in a different class It's fine to do things to their ass As long as the balls don't touch Then it's not gay At least not much