Rap Standup - Chris Rock: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Rap Standup

1,165

Comedy

Rap Standup was released on February 1, 2005 by Geffen as a part of the album Never Scared

Song Details

AlbumNever Scared

Release DateFebruary 1, 2005

LabelGeffen

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Chris Rock

Performer

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Chris Rock

Composer

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Prince Paul

Producer

Lyrics

Now, I'm 39, right? And I still love rap music, I love rap music, man

You know, I love it!

You know, I'm 39, I'm that age, man

I've been loving rap music forever

And as I get older, I realize I'm gonna love rap music when I'm 80, 90

Pretty much whatever music was playing when you started getting laid

You gonna love that music for the rest of your life

So I'm always gonna have a soft spot

For Whodini, you know what I mean?

That's just me

Now I love rap music, but I'm tired of defending it

'Cause you gotta defend rap music, man

'Cause people always go, "That's not

Music, that's not art, that's garbage

How can you listen to that garbage? How can you listen to that trash?"

And in the old days, it was easy to defend rap music

It was easy to defend it on an intellectual level

You could break it down intellectually why Grandmaster Flash was art

Why Run-DMC was art, why Whodini was art and music

You could break it down intellectually, okay?

And I love all the rappers today, but it's hard to defend this shit

It's hard, man, it's hard to defend

"I got hoes in different area codes"

On an intellectual level

It's hard to defend, "Move, bitch, get out the way"

Well, as you can see, there's a bitch in his way

That he needs to move

Thus the term, "Move, bitch, get out the way"

You need to open your eyes so you can get the bitches out of your way

My favorite song right now is impossible to defend, it's impossible

We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this fucking song

Lil Jon, you know that shit

"To the window, to the wall, 'til the sweat drip from my balls

'Til the sweat drip from my balls, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet"

And you know what's real wild?

You go to a club, you see girls dancing to that shit, loving it

"'Til the sweat drip from my balls, 'til the sweat drip from my balls

'Til the sweat, 'til the sweat, 'til the sweat drip from my balls

My balls, skeet, skeet, my balls, skeet, skeet

'Til the sweat, 'til the sweat, my balls, my balls"

You know what's wild? I feel sorry for the

Guys that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch

"Oh, Daddy, where'd you meet Mommy?"

"Oh, she was singing about balls at a club, skeet, skeet, skeet"

You know that's why people always say rap music is

Uh, misogynistic and it's degrading to women

But what I realize, man, is women that like rap don't give a fuck

Women that like rap music could give less than a fuck what they saying

If the beat's alright, she will dance all night

I see women on the floor dancing to the nastiest shit ever made

You think the nastier the record, the more they like that shit

I see women on the floor just dancing like

"Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Uh, smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

I put a dick in her ear, a dick in her ear

A dick in her ear, dick in her ear

I fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye

Fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye

Blind the bitch, blind the bitch

Blind the bitch, blind the bitch with cum"

Bad Boy

And you know what's wild?

If you mention to a woman that the

Record is misogynistic and degrading

And you wanna seem like a, you know, '

Cause you seem like a nerd when you say that

But if you mention it to a woman

Every woman gives you the same answer

"He ain't talking about me"

"Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

I put a dick in her ear, a dick in her ear"

"But he said your name"

"No, he didn't, smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick"

That's on my new album, "Smack Her With a Dick"

Love rap music, tired of defending it, man

And the wild thing about rap music, man

People either love it or hate it with a passion, man

Love it or hate it, man

Even the United States government hates rap

The government hates rap, man

You know why I say that?

'Cause they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers

No, they don't got no clues, they don't got no suspects

They don't fill out a police report when it's a dead rapper

They don't even have a chalk line

The cops just take a piss around the body

"Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick

Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick"

Shit, if you wanna get away with murder

All you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head

And put a demo tape in they pocket

"This is a rap killing, let's get outta here"

The government hates rap

Look at all the rappers, man, look at all the dead rappers

I miss all these motherfuckers, man

Biggie Smalls, man, Biggie Smalls, man

Biggie Smalls, gunned down outside a party in Los Angeles

Now, Biggie weighed about 400 pounds

So they had to shoot him for a while

There was some reloading in that drive-by

It's like the bullet had to hit another bullet

That went in before it just to really do damage

They don't got no clues, no suspects, a hamburger wrapper, nothing

Jam Master Jay, man

Jam, man, I miss Jam, man

I miss that motherfucker

Jam Master Jay, gunned down in a recording studio in Queens, okay?

They had surveillance footage of people

Coming in and out--they ain't arrest nobody

It's like the guy came in the studio

Shot Jay, recorded an album, then left

They ain't get nobody

No clues, no suspects, not an old Adidas, nothing

2Pac Shakur, man

2Pac Shakur, man

2Pac, gunned down on the Las Vegas Strip after a Mike Tyson fight

How many witnesses do you need to see

A crime before you arrest somebody?

Shit, more people saw 2Pac get shot than the last episode of Seinfeld

And you know what's fucked up?

Every year, 2Pac comes back from the dead

Records a new album with clues in it

Every record got a clue if you listen real hard

"The brother in the red shot the dead," right there

Track four, 'Pac is trying to tell us something

Listen again

"There was a **** named Kevin with a MAC-11," right there

'Pac is reaching out to us, "Listen!"

The government hates rap, man

And only rappers get gunned down like this

Only rappers get fucking gunned down, they don't do shit about it

I'll tell you right now, if Billy Joel, Elton John, and David

Bowie got shot, they'd have Bruce Springsteen's house surrounded

The government hates rap

And only the good rappers are dead, only the good ones

Biggie dead, 2Pac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive

The government hates rap

You mean to tell me they can find Saddam Hussein in

A fucking hole, but you can't tell me who shot 2Pac?

Shit

They found Saddam Hussein in fucking Iraq

2Pac got shot in Vegas!

In fucking Vegas!

Not on no side street, the motherfucker got

Shot on the strip, in front of Circus Circus

Written by: Chris Rock

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