A Diagnosis (feat. Rachel Bloom)

For almost thirty years, I've known something was wrong But mom said weakness causes bloating, so I tried to be strong Fake it till you make it, that's how I got by And when I tried to find the reason for my sadness and terror All the solutions were trial and error Take this pill, say this chant, move here for this guy But now there's no need for regret 'Cause I'm about to get A diagnosis, a diagnosis Don't tell me, "No sister, you don't fit in" Doc, prescribe me my tribe, give me my throng Tell me that this whole time I've belonged With those other people who share my diagnosis What could it be, what could be right? Schizophrenic or bipolar lite? I've never heard voices, but maybe it's time to start (You're super cool, Rebecca) thanks Obsessives with numbers, hoarders with cats I could really rock a tin foil hat Perfect they're not, but at least they know who they are No more bad pills, fads or tricks Who says there isn't an easy fix With a diagnosis, I'm ready to blow this Joint and by joint I mean my inner sense of confusion (You said that confusingly) shh! I'm aware mental illness is stigmatized But the stigma is worth it if I've realized Who I'm meant to be armed with my diagnosis Oh, the doctors that I've met who didn't get me This one naturopath used feathers to pet me They said anxiety, insomnia were my affliction The naturopath said it was sex addiction But all those things I knew I wasn't Yes, I like penises, but who doesn't? So put me in a bottle, slap a label on List out the side effects then worries be gone 'Cause finally I'll know this My diagnosis