My Little Secret

I cannot close my eyes I cannot fall asleep Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down Drowning in this memory As I lay me down to sleep I pray the memories won't find me Hit the bottle, hit the pills, trying anything Just to forget what you did to me Won't tell my friends, won't tell my shrink Yeah, maybe I should say something I'm terrified you'll put the blame on me So I live with the ghost, keep it buried deep Face-down as I drown in this memory My past is taking over me The more I fight it, it just won't let go I cannot close my eyes I cannot fall asleep Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down Drowning in this memory It has me paralyzed It's always haunting me And no believes me 'cause no one can see it Might kill me to keep it It's my little secret I've seen so much I can't unsee I've learned to suffer silently Fight a war every day that no one sees It's torture always remembering I don't want them to think I'm weak So I bite my tongue until it bleeds The weight of this is breaking me To keep it under lock and key I cannot close my eyes I cannot fall asleep Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down Drowning in this memory It has me paralyzed It's always haunting me And no believes me 'cause no one can see it Might kill me to keep it It's my little secret Face down as I drown in this memory My past is taking over me The more I fight it, it just won't let go It just won't let go I cannot close my eyes I cannot fall asleep Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down Drowning in this memory It has me paralyzed It's always haunting me And no believes me 'cause no one can see it Might kill me to keep it It's my little (my little) My little secret