I'm Not Really Sure

I feel un-ending pain I swear I've seen them brighter days I feel alone cuz all my ride or die's just ride away I'm on my phone I'm calling home to see if I can stay And now I'm on my knees at night so up above I send my praise Dear Lord I know you up there looking down on what you've made Dear Lord I pray that you forgive me for all my mistakes Dear Lord I hope you plan to take all of my pain away Cuz lately I've been running from myself and I don't feel the same I understand that what I've been through really ain't that bad I understand all of the opportunities I've had I understand that I can get to stressing way too fast But it's the ones who judge me who just make me even more than mad You wouldn't get the things that haunt me on the daily I could try to tell you things but you would only think I'm crazy I would rather not accept all of the what its and the maybes It's the ones who talk about me be the ones who make me hate me And lately I feel I'm changing The people and the waves seem like the only thing I'm chasing I'm talking to fake friends more than I'm talking to the lord And I'm struggling right now and love is all I can afford So give me more Just show me all of your affection Show me even though I'm broken in your eyes you see perfection Show me I can be successful without going out and flexing Cuz I shattered into pieces and I need someone to fix me I need someone who really gets me I don't know my size so can't find anyone who really fits me I could tell you that I'm happy all the time but I'd be kidding Everybody's getting happier when lost is all I'm getting Life's like a game of Simon says If you don't do what your told then they all coming for your neck The people of the present time have only learned to disrespect And now I'm hurting cuz I'm different, please just listen my request: Don't complain, stay the same, I'm begging please don't change Life's a game but it's insane so don't try switching lanes Every broken dream and all the pain engraved into your brain No matter what they say to you don't let them disrespect your name Make sure you keep your chin up keep your spirits higher The days seem like they get much worse but never quit the fighting There's always gonna be someone who beats you when you're trying But your future's shining bright, you always dreamed bout silver linings Not sure of who I am or who I am supposed to be Not sure of what I've done or what the world has done to me Not sure of all this rain and why it brings the thundering Not sure why everybody leaves and now I sit here wondering... Are these the memories I really have Can someone help cuz I need to go erase the past This life I'm living don't know what I'm living for Got this broken pain within me, think I'll name it: "I'm not really sure"