Beauty

Why not? What am I waiting for? What do I think is going to happen that hasn't happened before? I'm lost, what am I doing here? I already know what's going to happen so why waste another year? I don't know Is there hidden beauty in this life? I don't know Do I really want to live to see my friends die? I don't think so I wish I could be a believer But I know it's gonna stay like this forever until I go I worked all week, spent my spare time staring at screens I couldn't sleep, I couldn't remember any of my dreams I couldn't bear to see the things inside of me I wannaa be who I was at age 13 again 'Cause now all the girls I used to know Can't come unless they're being choked If our future's bought and sold, is growing up just getting old? Cause now all the boys that I knew won't look at me unless I'm nude They said it's catching up to you, yeah time is catching up to you All the girls I used to know can't breathe unless they're being choked So if our future's bought and sold Can someone tell me where to go? Cause now all the boys I used to see All think there's something wrong with me I want to be who I used to be I want life with intimacy, but it was taken from me But it was taken from me All was taken from me Yeah it was taken from me yeah Is there hidden beauty in this life? Do I wanna live to see my friends die? Why can't I be a believer? Is it gonna be like this forever? Why not? What am I waiting for? What do I think is going to happen that hasn't happened before? I don't know