My Whole Family…

Everytime I go to dinner Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner I'll sit down at the breakfast table I can talk; well, they're not able When I look at them I find There's a single question on their mind I wish it could go back to the way it was It's not easy now because My whole family thinks I'm gay I guess it's always been that way Maybe its 'cause of the way that I walk Makes them think I like... boys That I like boys The goddamn question just won't go away And I get asked every single day But the way they ask it is not a disguise Like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?" This is the worst; baby, this was my fear Now their opinions are crystal-clear Because My whole family now is shocked I'm in the closet and the door is locked Now my glory days are gone I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John My whole family now suspects Watching Spongebob had side-effects "I'm not gay" and that's what I said If I'm gay, hey God, strike me dead, you know? That's weird Just 'cause I'm on the cheerleading team Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme When I go outside what do I see? That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G Because I think that god might think I'm gay What does he know anyway? My grandma gave me a present, just last year And the card said "Happy birthday, Queer" My whole family thinks I'm fab "There's a guy's butt; Hey Bo, take a stab" "C'mon Why doesn't he get women? There's no other way" It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay, alright? Not cause I'm gay Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow Or my favorite color is the rainbow It's a joke I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must 'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust Because Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay Just kidding You all probably think I'm gay Man, this song is counterproductive La la la la la Because My whole family thinks I'm gay What do they know anyway? You gotta look right through the haze Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase My whole family thinks I'm queer That is all I ever hear But I've been as straight as a ramp If you don't count Bible camp Bible camp I'm not gay, I swear