Pinecones

Hands up if life is getting stressful And shout if you are saddened by the news (Whoa!) I need some tips to cope Some data or some anecdotes 'Cause right now nothing's workin' for my blues Sometimes I deal by playing music And sometimes I relax by reading books Sometimes I go downtown Climb a tree and don't come down And throw a bunch of pinecones at people A crowd has formed around my tree Just out of reach and the police Have blocked the street on every side But no one can climb it And I think its 'cause they know I have a pinecone here for everyone who tries I yell, "I'm gonna live to be a hundred I'm gonna see them cure disease Then I'm gonna watch them Go to war over the royalties" So if you need me, I'll be in the tree If you need me, I'll be in the tree There's several cameras pointed up into my tree It seems the world's concerned with what I might do next Throwing pinecones at photographers From up here in this conifer Like Tarzan getting scouted by the mets Yeah, I'm gonna live to be a thousand Got robot arms and run on robot feet Got robot legs and robot head And my robot ass don't know it yet But I'd be better off back in the tree So if you need me, I'll be in the tree 'Cause no one's asking what would drive me up this pine Is it protest? Am I being paid to preach or advertise? No, this non-deciduous decision was all mine You can show a horse the ropes But no, you cannot make him climb And this tree's a makeshift metaphor and I prefer to think I'm just a stressed out Christmas ornament Who needs some space to breathe And if the camera crews and crowded streets And dozens of police Are my endless pressures, manifested down below my tree Then this giant stack of pinecones They are the lame and immature ways, I deal with them But also how satisfying it is to do so To dome one when they're not looking, yeah I'm gonna live to be a million Longer than the flowers, birds and bees But if I start to come undone Make like a tree and hug someone Everybody needs a place to breathe Just recognize when it is time to leave I'm probably gonna live forever But should I die? And that may be preferred Take me out and bury me And plant a tree right over me So I may help someone escape the world Yeah, I may help someone escape the world