Story of an Addict

I know it broke your heart the day I started using drugs I'm sorry that your love for me was never quite enough I'm sorry that I ran away when things were getting tough But let me clarify this for the ones who feel the need to judge You ever love something so much you gotta have it? So you use it every day until you start to form a habit Then before you knew what happened, you were suddenly an addict That just wasted half the life and every dream they had was shattered And now you're feeling hopeless, and you're broken and you're battered 'Cause the dope that you've been chasing, is the only thing that mattered You've tried to break the cycle, and you've tried to break the pattern But the hole you dug yourself is way too deep without a ladder And I wish that I could take it back Wish that I could take the pain Wish that I could get on track Wish I wasn't so ashamed Need to just accept the fact that I'm the only one to blame And straighten up my act, so I could go ahead and make a change I'm sorry that I let you down (down) I'm sorry you don't understand (understand) Even if I never make it out (make it out) I'll love you 'til the very end Well, I just checked into this treatment And I'm hoping deep inside that I'll last longer than the weekend That's usually the time it takes for me to want to leave And every fiber of my being says to play with all my demons So give me something different Give me something to believe in I surrendered and accepted I'm defeated, and I'm beaten But no one ever told me, it's the secrets I've been keeping As I sit alone and isolate, I'm barely speakin', meetin' 'Cause my heart is full of hurt and hate How could anyone relate? No one really cares about me I should go and hibernate Somewhere by myself where I can constantly replay the tape Of how I messed it up again, and now it's probably way too late I have a therapist who says I need to open up But really, I'm embarrassed, so I tell 'em that they know enough Until I get the strength to share, I'll just keep showin' up And prayin' that I'll change, I guess it's all a part of growin' up I'm sorry that I let you down I'm sorry you don't understand Even if I never make it out I'll love you 'til the very end But now the days are passing by, and I'm still going strong And it's been years since I got high, I guess I'm moving on I finally got it right but not before I got it wrong I wish the same for all my friends but most of them are dead and gone I have a family now and even got a couple kids But I don't hide my past or all the crazy things I did I share it openly and try to raise awareness On the dangers of addiction when you're young and you are careless 'Cause it could be your family, be your friends or be the rest of 'em It could be a stranger passing by you see as just a bum But if that happens, don't you dare think any less of 'em I'm here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of 'em Yeah, I'm here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of 'em So if it happens, don't you dare think any less of 'em I'm here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of 'em Sorry that I let you down But I'm hoping now you understand Even if I never make it out