I wish that I'd known better
Than to let myself believe
That the person that I was before
Wasn't still me
I've been a stranger in a costume
Of somebody at peace
Living my whole life
Like I'm a kid on halloween
I thought that I was miserable
Because of the drink
Then I let myself be miserable
With full clarity
And realized that I was miserable
Because of me
Told myself that I was doing good
That I was finally living
Like everybody should
Maybe I'm better off
Admitting that it all was pretend
Like the way that I quit drinking
Just to start again
I know it seems like I'm not trying
I swear that I am
I wanna wake up and feel alright
Tired of paying in the morning
For the things I did last night
It's so hard now that I get to set
All of the rules for me
When nobody's gonna save me
From my own worst enemy
When the only thing that
I've ever been fighting was myself
Spent so much time thinking it was everybody else's
Responsibility to be my referee
Pushing everyone away
So I'd be right when they'd leave
Throwing punches at the mirror
Trying to prove something
A martyr nobody asked for
There's no bravery in killing
Who I was before
