Old Friends (Montclair, NJ)

Walking outside labyrinthian over

Cracks along under the trees

I know this town grounded in a compass

Cardinal landing in the dogwood

I keep going over it over and over

My steps iterate my shame

How come every outcome's such a comedown?

Lately afternoon with the shades drawn down

I kept saying I just wanted to see you

Saying, "What's wrong with that?"

Needles shaking outlines in a compass

Every outcome's such a comedown

I knew it when I saw it

Oh, but I did just what I wanted

So I go through with this

I knew happiness when I saw it

I saw your boyfriend at the Port Authority

That's a sort of fucked up place, well

I averted my stride on a quick one

He's coming back from going over to your place, huh?

I feel like I could forget about it

I feel like I could mellow out

I don't feel undone in a big way

There's nothing really bad to be upset about

Just when I thought I was getting better I

Woke up on the ground

An appointment or a disappointment

A setback or another comedown

As if I needed a reminder

Oh, that I do only what I wanna

So I go through with this

Walking out in the nighttime springtime

Needling my way home

I saw Leah on the bus a few months ago

I saw some old friends at her funeral

My steps keep splitting my grief through these solipsistic moods

I should call my parents when I think of them

I should tell my friends when I love them

Maybe I should have gone out a bit more

When you guys were still in town

But I got too caught up in my own shit

That's how every outcome's such a comedown

And I knew it when I saw it

Oh, I did just what I wanted

So I go through with this

I knew happiness when I saw it

And I saw it