STILL NUMB

Six shots of whiskey, now I'm feeling numb I keep on running, not sure what it's from No matter what I do, it's never enough I wonder what happens if I give this up Fi-five years later and I'm still numb Do me favor, go ahead and grab a drill gun Jam it straight into my skull, make me feel some' Lobotomize it, make it something, I won't heal from Don't give a doctor, I can go and get a pill from That shit is not what I needed I need a day where I don't feel like every part of me's bleeding Don't wanna mask with medication, cover-ups never treat it When I'm sedated it, come out as nightmares when I'm sleeping Still fighting with the voice inside of my head Still think I helped my enemies that were disguised friends Still putting eighty percent in to 'em on my end Still getting twenty percent, and saying, "It's fine," and Still fucked up with the trauma from all my exes Now, it's bleeding over, and it's been affecting my next Still, feel the hands of all that gripping on my neck I been waking up every night, covered in my sweat Still got three therapists, saying I don't need help 'Cause I don't self-destruct, and I won't kill myself But I dissociate until I'm just a shell Haven't felt in place, since it was 2012 That's around the time I realized I don't fit in I got a hole inside my chest, my favorite part of me's missing I got a bottle of the best, that fills it up when I kiss it Another round that I put down until it's empty and finished, let's go This liquor I'm chasing, got me feeling numb This pressure is building and I might succumb I go for the next step, but somehow, I'm stuck I wonder what happens if I give this up Six shots of whiskey, now I'm feeling numb I keep on running, not sure what it's from No matter what I do, it's never enough I wonder what happens if I give this up Just played a sold out show, then, checked my phone No congrats, not a text, still alone I had some friends, 'til I went and changed their lives Now, they pay no mind, so my self-control Is out the doe (door), tossed to the side like I was No true love, just lies and mindfucks All of that baggage starts to pile up Never had a person I can go and dial up To rack the miles up inside my shoes Dog, my family tree was chopped up in two Then, it split four ways, I learned in my youth That life, a solo mission I was never grouped I didn't bring no friends home, I just bought a bruise From all the bullshit that everybody put me through I never lost myself, just a couple screws That would've probably ended with me on the news I let contaminated people in my heart Being burned alive was better than the dark All those knives inside my back done left a mark That's a spot for evil people to come park Compartmentalizing abuse and pain Put the work in, but I'll never be the same I go to therapy and take a pill a day For me to feel like shit and never be okay, Oakes This liquor I'm chasing got me feeling numb This pressure is building and I might succumb I go for the next step, but somehow, I'm stuck I wonder what happens if I give this up Six shots of whiskey, now I'm feeling numb I keep on running, not sure what it's from No matter what I do, it's never enough I wonder what happens if I give this up