Not Like That

We have invented an invention You know duct tape? It's not like that We have created a creation You know cupcakes? It's not like that! It's just a button, just a simple little button you can press And when you press it you'll be happy with no harmful side effects Okay our legal team's informed us We must warn you of the button's side effects You know that feeling When you had something to say and then forgot? This is not like that! You know that stress you get When you commit a crime and then get caught? This is not like that! It's just a button, just a helpful little button you can hit It makes you happier for four to seven hours all depending on your blood type Also, someone random on the planet dies It probably won't be someone you know You're gonna love this new thing This happy-feeling machine Side effects and strings attached I want this but not like that We have revised a new revision We got your feedback You did not like that! We have modified the button now instead of someone dying They will simply lose their balance as they're walking down the stairs It's not your fault if they won't hold the rail You're gonna love this new thing This happy-feeling machine Side effects and strings attached I want this but not like that This is our final off-er, our engineers have done their best They've made the button softer so it's more comfortable to press You'll get one hour of joy but then the button will Make a college student oversleep their last exam And a small business owner lose an envelope of cash And a puppy will be told he's a bad dog when he didn't do anything wrong! You're gonna love this new thing This happy-feeling machine Side effects and strings attached I want this but not like that I wanna love this new thing I'd kill for something to bring Happiness (without a catch) I want this but not like that