A Letter To Everyone Who's Hurt Me

I thought it was normal to watch your parents fight It taught me dysfunction was just part of life That love's just a word that we use to excuse our mistakes Now I can't tell if I'm afraid or just jaded I guess I'm just scared to end up the way they did How do I unlearn the ways I deal with pain when that was all they taught me? To everyone I've loved who's let me down Let this letter hold what I can't say out loud What do I owe you for who I became? Should I say "thank you" or curse your name? Do I give you credit or all of the blame? 'Cause growth and pain always feel the same Feel the same Feel the same I try to avoid it when I meet somebody new I fall for the same shit that I did with you 'Cause there's comfort in chaos and that's why I kept you around, uh-huh It's insane to me that this could be the medicine and the disease A cigarette that's killin' me, yet I still wanna breathe in I keep tryin' to wash off the smell, but it's stuck on my skin What do I owe you for who I became? Should I say "thank you" or curse your name? Do I give you credit or all of the blame? 'Cause growth and pain always feel the same I wanted to fix this, I thought we could change But when will I learn that's a damn mistake? And I'll keep on givin' 'til my body breaks 'Cause growth and pain always feel the same Feel the same, feel the same, feel the same, oh I know it's not your fault But I don't know who to blame, oh-oh (oh-oh) Growth and pain, growth and pain (oh-oh), growth and pain They feel the same (oh-oh), feel the same, feel the same Still don't know the difference, I hope that can change 'Cause love and hate, they still feel the same Feel the same