I took a ride on the bus the other day

And it convinced me once and for all that there is a school for bus drivers

Because they couldn't innately-, you know what they'd do?

They would have to go to school to learn some of these things

And I would like to take you now to that school

Uh, as we enter the school, there's a course going on

In which they present the bus drivers with actual situations they'd encounter

While driving their buses, to find out how they'd react to it

And as we enter the course, we find, uh, the instructor talking to the student bus drivers

Uh, "You men have now completed what's known as the basic course in bus driving"

"In this course, you're going to be presented with actual situations you'll encounter while driving the buses"

And it's primarily designed to find out whether you're just going to be, uh

Well, good bus drivers, or possibly, one of the great all-time bus drivers

Bus drivers like, uh, the legendary Larry Strickland

Uh, probably the greatest bus driver of the 1930s, and possibly of all time, Neil Norlay

I-, I'd like to take one of the students, uh, Johnson?

You want to get in the bus, uh, and oh! Uh, Mrs. Selkirk, you want to get back to your marks back there? Uh-huh

Good, here-, here's a situation, Johnson, uh, you've just pulled into a stop, you've discharged your passengers

And out of the rear view mirror, uh, you notice this old woman running for the bus, okay?

You wanna s-, you wanna start running now, Mrs. Selkirk

Okay, let's see how Johnson goes about, uh, handling

Hold it, hold it, hold it, Johnson! Uh, your're-, you're pulling out much too fast, Johnson

See, uh, she-, she-, she gave up about halfway in the block, you see?

Yeah, what-, what you wanna do is just kind of gradually ease out, you see?

So, uh, you're always holding out the hope they may be able to catch the bus

Oh, another thing you'll wanna watch, a lot of these old women, they'll-, they'll run at three-quarters speed, you see

Then-, then they'll put on a final burst, and they'll catch up with the bus, so

Uh, Graham, you wanna be the bus driver? Yes, Mrs. Selkirk, you wanna get back to your mark again?

Alright, let's try it with Graham, same situation

Alright, you wanna-, you wanna start running again, uh, Mrs. Selkirk? Mhm

Okay, let's see how, how-, how Graham handles this situation

Alright, fine, uh, uh, did y'all see how he slammed the door right in her face that time?

That's, uh, that's known as your perfect pullout, uh

Oh, one other thing, uh, it wasn't part of the problem, uh, but, uh

I wanna compliment you on it, you blocked both lanes that time pulling out

Oh, okay, and Mrs. Selkirk, I think we'll take, uh, situation 13 this time, yeah, you wanna-, you wanna get in the Chevrolet? Mhm

Uh, Graham, this is a situation you'll very often encounter, you'll be driving along your route and um

All of a sudden, this car will pull in front of you, and on the back will be a "caution, student driver"

Or "learning to drive", uh, something like that, okay?

All right, Mrs. Selkirk, you wanna pull in front of Graham and see how he-, how he goes about handling this situation?

All right, that-, that was fine, that was-, that was very good, uh, could you all see what he did there?

Uh, he gets back about 10-15 car lengths, uh, gets it up to around 60

Then he gets right behind her, bang! He slams on his brakes, he hits the horn at the same time

Uh, did y'all see how the car went out of control there?

The-, the-, the minute you go for the floorboard, it just kinda swerved into the light pole over there

Okay, uh, some of you want to extricate, uh, uh, Mrs. Selkirk from the car?

Just roll down the window and crawl right out, Mrs. Selkirk

Uh, M-, Mrs. Selkirk, I think this will be the last one, you'll be the woman with the packages on this one, alright?

Okay, uh, Graham, on this one, I'm gonna stand behind you

Because, uh, you can't be expected to know this, it's gonna take time, and a lot of practice

Alright, you want to get on the bus, Mrs. Selkirk? Uh, that's-, alright, fumble-, fumble for your change

Alright, now start heading toward the back of the bus, that's it

Alright, hit your accelerator

Alright, hit the brake

Hit the accelerator again

Now, your brake

Alright, you see how she spun all the way to the front of the bus that time?

Mhm

Mhm

That's-, that's gonna take a little practice, a lot of times though

Grab a hold of another passenger, you may hit your brake too soon

All I can tell you is don't get discouraged, uh

Within five, six months you'll have all of them spinning right to the front of the bus

Okay, now let's all get in our individual buses and uh, start practicing

And just remember it's accelerator, brake, accelerator, brake

Okay, uh, uh, for-, for homework tonight, uh, we're going to mispronounce the names of streets!