I'm Not Gay

J Pee, baby, uh, uh, yup, yup Yeah, you know who it is Check this shit out man Check it out Check it out Check it out, check it out (here we go) yeah Chillin' with my homies at the Home Depot (Home Depot) Buyin' screws and nails, manly shit you know? (You know?) My homie says to me, "What kind of drill you want?" (He asked me) So I said I wanted one right in the ass What? I'm not gay I'm not gay It was a joke guys, come on I'm not gay I like vag more than a pornstar scandal But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle? Playin' tackle football with my homies in the park Had to wrap it up 'cause it was gettin' dark (Gettin' dark) The other team was looking straight scary as shit (Ooh) But my quarterback, he ain't having none of it (He ain't scared) He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at My priority job was to protect the sack (Okay) So fourth down, he bends over and yells, "Hike!" So I went and grabbed his balls! Huh? I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm just doing my job, step off I'm not gay It's not like I was purposefully tryin' to feel them (I wasn't) I just care about the safety of your future children (Godfather) I'm not gay, I'm not gay Quit telling me that, man I'm not gay Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son P.S. I didn't know that you were so well hung Strollin' with my homies in West Hollywood (Hollywood) Wasn't my idea because I'm not gay Dude walks by me with his shirt off, and I was like "Damn bitch, you fine!" Fuck I'm not gay guys That ain't me I'm just comfortable with my sexuality So I can admit when I see a guy Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes And a rock hard chest, and rippling abs And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod' And ohh my god, take your pants off Uhh Fuck it I'm so gay I'm fucking gay I'm the dude wearin' nail polish yelling, "Hey!" I'm the dude at the party who'll grab your butt (That's me) And when you turn around and look at me I'll be like, "What?" Yeah! I'm gay (I'm gay) I'm hella gay I watch Zac Efron movies every Saturday And normal self expression doesn't suit me either That's why my degree is in musical theater I'm so gay man