Perks of the Job

This one's going out to anyone who's in a job they Don't like, ladies and gentlemen, and that's all of us If you're lucky enough these days to be employed There's lots of ways the company gets you annoyed They change your hours and your shifts, you get so downhearted You've not had a pay rise since you started If you don't like it, the firm'll give you the sack But did you know there's a way you can get your own back? You're dignity's been robbed but nobody cares So what you've got fer do is steal something of theirs It's called the perks of the job I'm at work and I'm on the rob I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket To make me feel better and they just can't stop it I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age Wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage Until they do, I'm gonna go to town And help meself to anything that's not nailed down Revenge against the company, it tastes delicious But don't take too much too soon or they're gonna get suspicious Stuff that people wont miss, or there'll be tears I've not bought paper for me printer for about three years Don't be cocky and put a laptop up your sleeve Just a little bit of something every time you leave An envelope a day that'll never be missed There's more stationery in our house than WH Smiths It's called the perks of the job I'm at work and I'm on the rob I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket To make me feel better and they just can't stop it I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage And until they do, I'm gonna go to town And help meself to anything that's not nailed down If the thought of stealing sends you out of your mind There's others ways of getting your benefits in kind Use the work phone to call your mate in Timbuktu Or a hour on your Facebook page will do Now here's a top tip from me workmate Shirley An excuse to give your boss, if you wanna leave early You've got to go 'cause your kid's developed a terrible cough Either that or say your shed roofs been blown off It's called the perks of the job I'm at work and I'm on the rob I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket To make me feel better and they just can't stop it I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage And until they do, I'm gonna go to town And help meself to anything that's not nailed down It's called the perks of the job I'm at work and I'm on the rob I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket To make me feel better and they just can't stop it I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage And until they do, I'm gonna go to town And help meself to anything that's not nailed down