Natalie's Rap (feat. Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell)

And in three, two... We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman Hello So Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like? Do you really wanna know? Please, tell us I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and that Durban Doin' one twenty, gettin' head while I'm swervin' Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick I bust in dudes' mouth like gushers motherfucker Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker What you want, Natalie? To drink and fight What you need, Natalie? To fuck all night Don't test when I'm crazy off that airplane glue Put my foot down your throat 'til your shit's in my shoe Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning Fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin' I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe You condone driving while intoxicated? I never said I was a role model But what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them? All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick It's Portman motherfucker, drink 'til I'm sick Slit your throat and poor nitrous down the hole Watch you laugh and cry, while I laugh, you die And all the dudes, you know I'm talkin' to you We love you Natalie, I wanna fuck you too P is for Portman, P is for pussy I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun, so don't push me Wow, Natalie I'm surprised All this from a Harvard graduate Well, there's a lot you may not know about me Really? Such as? When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day I cheated every test and snorted all the yay I gotta a def posse and you gotta bunch of dudes I sit right down on your face and take a shit Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch, hell yeah And I always pay for your dry cleanin' When my shit gets in your shoe, what? And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that My dick is scared of you, girl Okie-doke, Natalie, one final question If you could steal a smooch From any guy in Hollywood, who would it? No more questions What?