There Is a Sucker Born Ev'ry Minute

Barnum's the name P.T. Barnum! And whether you think my humbug's a blessin' or a curse You're still gonna buy it Why? Because ev'ry sixty seconds in this world A delightful phenomenon takes place Which absolutely guarantees it! There is a sucker born ev'ry minute Each time the second hand sweeps to the top Like dandelions up they pop Their ears so big, their eyes so wide And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney With no truth in it Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn 'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute And I'm referring to the minute you was born Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em Each time that wooden cuckoo shows his face Another sucker takes his place And plunks his quarter on the line To buy my brand of genuine malarkey God bless and love 'em! But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene 'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute But Ma'am you mighta been the minute in between If I allow that right here in my hands The smallest living human man The sight of that is surely worth a dime If I present an educated pooch Who's trained to dance the hoochie cooch What better way to waste a bit of time? If I import at monumental cost A lady, fair, who's head was lost While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias Who eats farina through a hose And wears pink tights instead of clothes If that ain't worth a buck my name ain't Phineas Aw you say that's hog wash, well who cares? You'll buy my hog wash long as There's a sucker born ev'ry minute Each time that second hand sweeps to the top Like dandelions up they pop Their ears so big, their eyes so wide And though my tale is bonafide baloney Just let me spin it And ain't no man who can resist me, wait and see 'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute And friends, the biggest one excluding none is me!