Absolute C**t of a Day

I've had an absolute cunt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song I've had an absolute cunt of a day It started as a fart in bed Well it started as a fart but I shit myself instead And the fuckin' missus going off her fuckin' head I've had an absolute cunt of a day And running to the dunny like a bastard Trying to hold it in with me finger up me arse Skidding past the kids, those little cunts laughing I've had an absolute cunt of a day I've had an absolute cunt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song I've had an absolute cunt of a day No hot water so I had to take a cold shower Scrubbing shit from every orifice which took a fuckin' hour Then fuck, fuck, fuck, no fuckin' towel I've had an absolute cunt of a day Pulling on my jeans and tripped Broke me fuckin' nose and split my fuckin' lip Got me cock caught in me fuckin' zip I've had an absolute cunt of a day I've had an absolute cunt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song I've had an absolute cunt of a day Then driving myself to doctors Busted and bleeding, cock swollen and fuckin' throbbing Not a good time to be stopped by the cops I've had an absolute cunt of a day The bastards didn't even let me explain Just cuffed me up and hauled me off to jail No fuckin' phone call no fuckin' bail I've had an absolute cunt of a day I've had an absolute cunt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song I've had an absolute cunt of a day So your honour that's how it is That's exactly how it started and how it ended all up here And you fuckin' lot laughing ain't making it too easy I've had an absolute cunt of a day I'm in too much pain to plead And I don't give a fuck if you don't believe me Just take me out the back and fuckin' shoot me please I've had an absolute cunt of a day I've had an absolute cunt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song I've had an absolute cunt of a day I've had an absolute cunt of a day Just another one of them Absolute cunt of a day