I'm Not Okay

Tonight the monsters in my head Are screaming so damn loud But I built walls so high So they never even make a sound It's a mask, it's a lie It's the only home I've ever known 'Cause being who I really am Has only left me more alone I am not okay And I need you to see it I have so much to say And no one to hear it The reason I keep quiet With so much at stake I always feel like a burden, let it silence me You'll never understand Why it's so hard to say I'm not okay I wish I had a scar Had a bruise on the surface, any kind of proof That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse My life's invisible abuse I'm either judged or have to hide The only symptom you can see Is I don't wanna be alive I am not okay And I need you to see it I have so much to say And no one to hear it The reason I keep quiet With so much at stake I always feel like a burden, let it silence me You'll never understand Why it's so hard to say I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell But what if it kills me If I keep it to myself? To myself I am not okay And I need you to see it I have so much to say And no one to hear it I am not okay I am not okay I'm never safe It's not a phase If I finally break Would you still stay? Tonight the monsters in my head Are screaming so damn loud