Nerves

I don't know where to turn You'd think by now I'd learn I don't know where to turn You'd think by now I'd learn Got blisters on my fingers from this money that I burn But I don't show concern I'll party 'til it hurts They all want somethin' from you, but won't love you in return It's been fuckin' with my nerves You'd think by now I'd learn Got blisters on my fingers from this money that I burn But I don't show concern I'll party 'til it hurts They all want somethin' from you, but won't love you in return It's been fuckin' with my nerves Lifestyles of the rich and famous I used to pray one day I'd make it Then I did, and it ain't been the same since I've been trippin', I've been goin' through phases I look around, and I don't see the same faces Yeah, I feel so close, I can taste it Impatient, wasted, anxious, I hate this You ain't got a lot a kickin' So you should probably mind yo' business Starin' at the clock when the time keeps tickin' At the free throw line, nigga shot long distance People say I'm narcissistic The thing is I don't have to play the part, I live this I really had to make some hard decisions And I won't ever do it if my heart's not in it That's the shit that I'm used to though Pedal to the metal 'til I lose control All I'm tryin' to do is improve and grow Until I'm on stage at the Super Bowl My back's still crawlin' with demons Plug my ears, and I try not to hear them I don't even recognise the guy in the mirror I ask myself like, "Why am I here?" I don't know where to turn You'd think by now I'd learn Got blisters on my fingers from this money that I burn But I don't show concern I'll party 'til it hurts They all want somethin' from you, but won't love you in return It's been fuckin' with my nerves You'd think by now I'd learn Got blisters on my fingers from this money that I burn But I don't show concern I'll party 'til it hurts They all want somethin' from you, but won't love you in return It's been fuckin' with my nerves Sometimes I don't really want to know the truth I'm just doin' what I'm supposed to do Never showin' on the surface what I'm goin' through I need a fresh start, and it's overdue Every single line isn't quotable Gotta manifest it all, or it won't come true So let me get a toast to this ocean view Who woulda thought that I'd be livin' like this? Now every single song is a hit I don't miss Someone pass the toilet paper, man, I've been on my shit I'm sick, stay away from me, I'm still at high risk You start to notice as the narrative changed While they still sleepin' on me, they barely awake I got my city on my back, I gotta carry the weight So if I'm orderin' the steak, then I'm sharin' my plate And I don't really get time for the guys 'Cause I got these problems I'm tryin' to conquer I do this for the people in line at my concerts You're now witnessin' the mind of a monster So I can't pay attention to the fuckery I was lookin' for somethin' that was right there in front of me Right now, I'm tryin' to work on my recovery But suddenly, they all want to treat me like a somebody What can I say, man? The irony is real I'm fully independent, I won't sign another deal My eyes are runnin' kill, and I'm firin' at will I'm the fireman, everybody line up for the drill I had a lot of issues I was tryin' to conceal You aspired to be rich, I aspire to be real I'm lucky 'cause I still got desire in me still And the drive's still there, but the drive's uphill I don't know where to turn You'd think by now I'd learn I don't know where to turn You'd think by now I'd learn