A Bedtime Story

You're the best at telling stories to help me fall asleep You do all the silly voices, conversate in make-believe And I am wide awake I might've drank a bit too much caffeine Can you tell a bedtime story to help me fall asleep Okay so two bickering bears are bumbling through the woods When they stumble upon a tent And they can tell there are two humans inside because It has a "two human inside" scent Now these bears are cold and hungry As food prices have jumped across the hibernation But they have a philosophical difference on How to approach this tent's situation Big Bear says Let's ambush them, come crashing Through their flimsy little roof Big Bear hungry, Big Bear beefy, Big Bear see food and want food Small Bear says: Why do you tackle every problem like a grizzly brute Small Bear angry. Small Bear tired. Small Bear 'bout to disapprove Because while yes, I see the merits of attacking by surprise We'd get a meal but I can't bear to crush their valuable supplies Imagine waking up each day and catching the sunrise From this tent after we eat the chumps inside But Big Bear isn't buying it, 'cause they don't Have the dexterity to unzip the zipper And if they wait for the humans to come outside They might be armed, alarmed, and ready to shoot them Quicker than the bears can react, and then they'll go from Two rugged bears looking for a good home in the woods To looking like two bear rugs on the wood floor of a home goods Small Bear says I hear you but insist the benefits outweigh the risk Small Bear still respects that Big Bear gets a say in all of this Big Bear thinks about it, then a wicked grin erupts across his lips Big Bear's grateful for a partner that communicates like this He says I think there's a solution that will satisfy your needs A compromise that will surprise these hairless little beasts And if we do this right we'll leave the tent looking pristine We'll get our bed and breakfast... Bearbnb So Big Bear says the local gopher owes me a favor From every day when I don't eat him So he can either reach in or dig his little feet in To dig up underneath them and sneak in And he can unzip the screen then we can both creep in While they are deep asleep Ah, come on let's gopher it, I'm sick and tired of scheming So they overcame their bickering with simple compromise And the bears began their buffet with some gopher on the side And they lived happily ever after in their tent, sat side by side Then you kissed me on the head and said goodnight Yeah, then you kissed me on the head and said goodnight You were the best at telling stories to help me fall asleep You did all the silly voices, made me honestly believe And now I'm wide awake, mistaking every breaking branch and leaf The next time we go camping I'll just stick to counting sheep