Pain

I swear I can't stand it This life has shot me down Silver bullets of pain No, I can't take it I can't take it, away Drifted but I'm so tired, I can't even sleep I've been awake for so long, I've lost count of the sheep When I think I smoke more and the cycle repeats I'm weak and my throats sore from tryin' to scream And when I drink, I grow horns, that's the sign of the beast When they be askin' how I'm doin', I'm lyin' to peeps I ain't gon' lie, when I go home, I just cry in the sheets And pray to God that when I crash, I don't die in my sleep I may never live up to the man that I'm dyin' to be I keep down this troubled path that I might have to leave My mind's more violent than the shit you would find in the streets I'm at my wit's end with who that I'm tryin' to be Battle addiction, needin' what I want but can't get it This story stems from isolation in the pandemic I'm goin' toe to toe with rappers that you worship and you call gods And against all odds that man did it I swear I can't stand it This life has shot me down Silver bullets of pain No, I can't take it I can't take it away One day I'm amazin' and the next, I just want it to end Make it seem like I ain't phased when I run into friends Hard to know if I'm better, so I try to pretend So I just drink and smoke until I'm in bed with the spins But I know they can't wait to see the day I got a deal Swallowin' pride ain't as easy as swallowin' pills Demons in your life and e'rybody got 'em If they try me, I'ma make it e'rybody problem I always blame my parents for the man that I'm not My father told me I'd be 30 and still pushin' a mop And if I was, then he'd disown me right there on the spot But won't you look at him now? Callin' me, givin' me props But next time that you try to call me, know now that that call fails Did this on my own, you rappers tellin' tall tales I'm tryna be the best, number one and nothin' less I'ma take over the world, your mission is just small scale I swear I can't stand it This life has shot me down Silver bullets of pain No, I can't take it I can't take it away