I Keed - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

I Keed

749

Comedy

I Keed was released on November 4, 2003 by Warner Records as a part of the album Come Poop With Me

Song Details

AlbumCome Poop With Me

Release DateNovember 4, 2003

LabelWarner Records

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

BPM95

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Performer

Jimmy Vivino

Guitar

Robert Smigel

Lead Vocals

Michael Merritt

Michael Merritt

Vocals

james Wormworth

james Wormworth

Drums

Jerry Vivino

Saxophone

Scott Healy

Piano

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Megahertz

Composer

Andrew Secunda

Songwriter

Andy Blitz

Songwriter

Brian Reich

Songwriter

Eric Drysdale

Songwriter

Mike Ferrucci

Songwriter

Ray James

Songwriter

Robert Smigel

Songwriter

Jimmy Vivino

Arranger

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Megahertz

Producer

Robert Smigel

Additional Producer

Roxanne Mustafa

Roxanne Mustafa

Assistant Engineer

Stewart Whitmore

Stewart Whitmore

Editing Engineer

Adam Sandler

Executive Producer

Brooks Arthur

Executive Producer

Stephen Marcussen

Stephen Marcussen

Mastering Engineer

Kamel Abdu

Recording Engineer

Lyrics

I thought my CD was done, but that's not what they say

"Do an insult track, we need it for radio play"

Cram in the names, I'll take a long, hard pee

Time to mess up the biz like an MP3

American Idols, that's who I look for

In the poop section of my local record store

Ruben or Clay, oh, which should I pick?

It's like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick

And when I want something even more fruity and fake

I look up 'N' for N'Sync or 'T' for Timberlake

So many skills Justin's making a buck at

Does he rap? Does he sing? He doesn't know what to suck at

Now as for the bitches, let's give Britney thanks

For the face that launched a million preteen skanks

You were a virgin that had to be hard

You've had more bones in your mouth than a St. Bernard

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

I joke with you! (Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

Yeah, you're a great actress too (Little dog, little joke)

Now let's go to Walmart, where they won't sell my CD

That company's nuts are in a jar, in aisle three

But you can see Christina in all her sluthood

It's like watching porn but the music's not as good

I want to stuff my TV's crotch with a dollar

Still, I'd hump you if I could wear my flea collar

You're looser than my poop after eating honeydew

Only 50 Cent's been plugged more than you

And yet, you're too old for Fred Durst to desire

He's checking out the cast of Lizzie McGuire

Soon, Fred will try to get Mandy Moore

To open for him, and I don't mean on tour

You're not the first, Durst, poor R. Kelly

His videos premiere at the LAPD

I believe they set up an innocent guy

You know what else? I believe I can fly

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

I joke with you! (Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

I believe Michael too, yes (Little dog, little joke)

Now look how fucking cool those guys from The Strokes are

Their riffs are three times as old as my jokes are

Hey, White Stripes guy, is that your wife or your sister?

Shouldn't you be playing country music, mister?

Hey, Coldplay, maybe you should be Coldsore

Back when you were U2, I liked you so much more

Somehow, your song "Yellow" reminds me of pee

I think 'cause when it's over, it's a big relief to me

Yo, P!nk, is that your hair or a tattoo?

I didn't know Supercuts had a drive-thru

Yo, Nelly, what the hell kind of name is that?

That's about as gangsta as an Easter bonnet hat

And Snoop says he's clean now? You make the call

The guy's higher than Billy Joel's Cholesterol

Snoop, there's only room for one dog, putz

And I can rap, can you lick your own nuts?

Poop Diddy, are you in show business still?

I didn't know wearing a suit was a skill

J Lo, J Lo, the giant tail-o

For a doggy's nose, that's the Holy Grail-o

Shakira's butt's fine, but it won't hold still, you see

I sniffed Elton John's tush just for all the history

I sniffed J-Lo's ass and got too touchy-feely

She let loose a bomb that was bigger than Gigli

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

I joke with you (Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed! (Nothing wrong with your butt)

I even like... I don't like Affleck (Nothing wrong with your butt)

Avril Lavigne, punk queen, now there's a kidder

Go back north, Celine needs a baby-sitter

Philip Glass, atonal ass, you're not immune

Write a song with a fucking tune

And on the list of bitches don't leave off MTV

I scared them and Eminem, so they gave the hook to me

Slim Shady, why do you find me so scary?

We're just two regular dudes who banged Mariah Carey

Wipe off that frown, just do without it

Hey, my mom was a bitch too, but I don't go writing songs about it

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

I joke with you! (Little dog, little joke)

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

You know I never meant to hurt you (Never meant to make you cry)

I keed, I keed! (He just make a little joke)

It's a joke, you see! (Laffy, laffy, laffy, ha, ha)

Let's stop hating each other (He just make a little joke)

Leave the pooping to me (Rock it to me, sock it to me)

Rock it to me, sock it to me, rock it to me, sock it to me

Rock it to me, sock it, I'm a rapping dog

And I'm here to say, rappa, rappa, rappa

A tappa, huppa, huppa

I keed

Written by: Andrew Secunda, Andy Blitz, Brian Reich, Eric Drysdale, Megahertz, Mike Ferrucci, Ray James, Robert Smigel

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