You know..

Dogs aren't clever

They eat their own dung

They whine like babies

And sweat through their tongue

The big ones are stupid

The small are high strung

But cats are cunts

You know..

Dogs are filthy

They get ticks and fleas

They drag their asses

And give Lyme disease

You have to train them

Pick up their crap

On your knees

But cats are cunts

One, two, three...

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

It's easy to learn

So let's all say that

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

So spread the word

Through your own habitat

You know..

Dogs get rabies

They drool and they fart

They drink from toilets

They're not very smart

They get worms

But they're better than their counterpart

Cause cats are...

(Conan O'Brien) 'Scuse me

(Triumph) Hello, what's the problem here? Conan O'Brien, what do you want? This is my show! Mine! My show. What are you doing here?

(Conan) What the hell are you doing?

(Triumph) Singing a ditty?

(Conan) I have put up with your crap for years. But tonight you have crossed some kind of line. This is wrong!

(Triumph) Ooh, this IS wrong. What would Letterman say?

(Conan) This is clearly a crowd that expects more from you, Triumph. You have an audience of intelligent people here. Triumph, you could appeal to these people's higher nature

(Triumph) All right, what are you going to do about it?

(Conan) I was listening backstage. I like the melody. And I wrote some lyrics that I think speaks to the intelligence and humanity of this crowd tonight

(Triumph) Good luck

(Conan singing)

You know people should live together in peace

We wouldn't have famine, war or disease

Brothers and sisters should do as they please

But cats are cunts

(Triumph) Conan O'Brien, ladies and gentlemen!

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

It's easy to learn

So let's all say that

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

Cats are cunts

Cunts are cats

So spread the word

Through your own habitat

Why do you think they call it pussy?